Ocean Of Thoughts.

I've been feeling down lately, feeling off the hinge, provoked at the slightest. I don't know if its just me or something else. Waking up is a chore, I just want to curl up into a ball wearing fuzzy socks. I don't want to go through the same old arduous routine everyday, the same old narcissistic people and same old revolting society. There's nothing to do, I keep finding myself pondering my existence and life's greatest questions to no avail, I find myself staring into space just living through my dreams. Life has lost its magic, it's let go of me and I wander lost not knowing what to do. I want to curl up and sleep forever.

Do you guys know how unfair it is that I have to live in a permanently hot country ? I'll never know the comfort of lying down near the glowing embers of a fire and drinking warm creamy drinks on a cold winters night. I consider it a really unfair. I've never been the summer girl, always attracted to the cooler and gorier seasons. Everything is beautiful in the colder months. The dying red leaves of a tree in fall and the stark white pureness of snow in winter. Its beautiful, majestic in fact. I love the fashion of fall and winter, the deep blood shades and layers of matted fur. The hard leather and floaty feathers. I've always been a fall girl at heart and always will be.

So I've come to the realization that owls are my spirit animal, not in the ancient red indian way but in my own spiritual way. I love owls, their quite flight and ability to hear many things, not to mention the fact owls are considered to be wise. I like to think I'm all this. I've gone through many of those sketchy online spirit guide quizzes but I consistently get the owl as my spirit animal. While that might be a coincidence, I like to think I have an old owl's soul in me.

I love little mermaid, it bring back nostalgic memories every time I watch the movie. I remember watching the movie at my friends birthday party where we had to dress up as sea creatures and I was my favorite animal, a octopus  I was all swathed in glorious sock tentacles and balloon head. Maybe little mermaid brought about my love for all thing ocean. I love the sea now, I love swimming and cutting through the crystal water, I love staring into the endless vastness of it, I love wading into the shallows and swimming with the plethora of marine creatures. I love the ocean.